Death Rattle

from by Oli Spleen

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I know I will not live
Until an age that’s ripe and old
I feel this fear more certain
As the virus takes its hold
And I fight a loosing battle
As if something can be gained
As my heart infects with fluid
That is needing to be drained
And this heart can’t go on giving
And this body’s just a shell
And it’s not as if I’m living
But this limbo’s living hell

I’m strangled by my lymph glands
With a pressure that constricts
My guts are passing liquids
And my stomach swims with sick
I’m taunted by my nightmares
When I wake I’m still in hell
I’m free from all my wanting
Except wanting to be well
And inside something seems certain
Forcing from this futile flesh
The time is now
This is my death
This is my death

They strap me to a bed
And then wire needles to my veins
And the chemicals burn caustic
But nothing relieves the pain
And they say they don’t know what’s wrong
Yet they try every device
And they say my fever’s rising
But my body feels like ice
My twisted limbs contort
As night sweats leave my body wracked
I try to let air in my lungs
But they only contract
And wheeze a rasping rattle
As I gasp for my last breath
I know its time
This is my death
This is…

My life just seems like nothing
A mere moment since my birth
And just what are my achievements
Have I done a thing of worth
Did my life have any purpose
Something I was living for
If I could live it all again
I would do so much more
Please live life to the fullest, child
But don’t burn out too fast
Just try to grab each moment
As if it may be your last
And I reach a new awareness
As I breathe a deeper breath
This aint my time
Its not my death
Its not my death


from Fag Machine, released December 5, 2013



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Oli Spleen Brighton, UK

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